The most awkward moments in life, are not when the old lovers meet again or when your family finds out that you’re a queer. It’s when you are stuck in the lift with your boss­ – for 10 minutes or more.

If being hairy, and built out of inordinate bones aren’t the only things, that make me, how some of those ladies put the best; “an obnoxious cock”, then you also must know, that I am part of a nine to five desk job, where the management asks me to shut my face in the computers and type incessantly.  So think of all the things that can keep a guy tied unwillingly in the cocoon of social abhorrence and I have them in abundance. Long complex story short; I am short!

I am, however, never sad or vocal about it. After all, no one shows compassion to a dwarf who says, “I am not happy”, their immediate response is, “then which one are you?” Now I know, I know, it’s an old joke, but some of these people repeat it like a broken record.


So on an ordinary day, I look around and all I see, are people in their formal clothes, hating their tie colours that don’t go very well with their belts and hitting their keyboards, like wife-beaters on some kind of highly violent hallucinogens (like that AZ from that Jacob’s ladder movie). But I, on the other hand, tend to keep away from all that antagonism, for I am mostly funny, mostly friendly and mostly clubby, but not, “I-would-gel-with-six-footers-and-have-a-great-time”, clubby. Continue reading