End Of The World Sale

They gathered outside the house on the hill. It was not technically a hill, just a huge mound of cheap consumer goods mostly imported from China and Vietnam. They marveled at how much the mound had grown since the last time they had been to visit their brother. There were new and interesting items in the mound, several tanning beds, full body tan sprayers, all of the latest electronic products. Even as they watched another truck delivered more goods to the house, two new treadmills and one of those ridiculously shaped ab-exercise machines.

Lust shook her head and her blond tresses flowed like a golden waterfall, she was wearing a flowing dress that covered everything but what it should have, “This has gone way too far! We should have put a stop to this a long time ago.”

Wrath grunted, he towered over his siblings, like a wall built of pure muscle, a ripple seemed to pass through the wall as he flexed the mallet in his hand, “We told him as much last time did we not? We told him he had won the damned bet we had among us. That he had nothing more to prove.”

“Of course, I remember! How can one forget such humiliation?” Pride scoffed, he checked to make sure his perfectly styled hair was in place and straightened his tie, his immaculately tailored suit fit him like a second skin, “I am still not convinced that our brother won, but I conceded our little bet because we agreed it was not good for the world, the way he was carrying on. It was hard enough we conceded defeat once, why are we here again?”

“Because, we have to put an end to this, the world cannot put up with this much longer!” Lust said and sighed as she eyed the house and ran a tongue on her lips, “though I have to say I have never found our brother this sexy before!”

Sloth slumped onto the ground and curled up, “Well, if there is going to be so much talking, I think I will take a nap…all this talk of saving the world is so damn boring…yaaaawn…” he snored loudly on the sidewalk.

Vanity was eyeing the mound around the house with distaste and held herself away from it as if afraid it would infect her, “Whatever this is ,it is ugly! I agree let’s go stop our brother. I have a spa appointment in a while, so let’s hurry up!” She gathered her strange fanciful dress around her.

“Whatever!” Envy scoffed pushing his emo styled hair out of his eyes, “it’s not like I could not have done this, you know. I could easily have won the stupid bet if I had wanted to, but some of us have better things to do! And now look what the idiot has done. I would never have screwed up so bad. Whatever!” he kicked the ground with his shoe.

“Wow! So much stuff!” was all Greed could say as she surveyed all the goods accumulated around her, “So much stuff!”

“Well, let’s get started!” Wrath spat and they walked towards the house.

As they entered the house they had to cross two large shoe closets overflowing with shoes of all kinds. Greed even put away several pairs of high heels into her handbag and when Pride gave her  a disdainful look she shrugged, “What, it’s not like he is going to be wearing high heels anytime soon!”

They passed into the living room, there were four ultra high definition,surround sound, curved OLED screens on each wall, one of the floor and one on the ceiling. There were all playing ads from tele-marketing channels, “You must absolutely buy this new ultra cool gadget that can be used to peel a banana. Are you still stuck in the stone age? Do you still peel your own bananas? Stop being a Neanderthal! With our new gadget you will never have to peel another banana again. Order one now and we will throw in another on for 50% discount.”

The room was lined with box after box ordered from these websites. The boxes littered on the floor and made unsure mounds in places that swayed as they tried to cross them.

They entered the large bedroom. The door had been modified and was so large that they could all pass through it side by side. The floor too had been reinforced to support a huge amount of weight. There were two king size beds also reinforced, right in the middle of the bedroom. Sprawled on this bed was the mountain of mass that was their brother Gluttony. There were more screens in the bedroom, all of the, announcing an end-of-the season sale and more products that could be brought at 70% discount rates. On one wall there were machines from different fast food chains that were sending out a steady stream of food. On the wall beside the bed were large barrels of soft drinks that were directly connected to the veins in the mountain of flesh. The whole room trembled as if in an earthquake and Gluttony belched. A huge wave of gas seasoned with fast food sauces and carbonated sugars washed over them like a tidal wave.The sins braced at the blast of air and were almost thrown out of the room.

The movement distracted Gluttony from the nearest screen and he stopped chewing on a chicken wing, “Ah, my siblings. Welcome! I am so glad you could come. The newest game console will be released in a while, we can all play together…!” He said happily and rubbed his hands together, He rolled a pizza and popped it into his mouth. He misread the look Envy gave him and said, “Oh, don’t worry brother, these pizzas are whole wheat only! I am still following my diet!” And he stuffed a fistful of fries into his mouth.

“Gluttony, brother of mine!” Lust said as she held her chest at the right angle, “Why have you not stopped this wanton consumption! We told you you had won the bet!” She could not keep the desire out of her voice and she winked at him.

“Oh I did want to…”Gluttony said and was distracted by the screen again, “But there were all these end-of-season sales, so I thought I would stop after those.”

One of the beds groaned dramatically and there was a loud snap somewhere. The huge mountain of mass shifted unstably and looked about to topple before it settled to one side.

”Oh snap. This is the fifth time this week! It’s a good thing they are running a sale of these beds this week!” Gluttony said happily as he ordered another bed.

“If it’s all the same with you guys, I think I will take a nap. The walk to the bedroom was sooo exhausting!” Sloth said and climbed into bed with Gluttony. “Of course brother! Make yourself right at home!” Gluttony said as Sloth disappeared somewhere in the folds of his flesh.

“Well why are you still going on?” Wrath screamed at Gluttony, “The sales are over. You won the bet. Stop now! Stupid idiot! You are eating the world!”

“Don’t scream at me! It makes me stress eat!” Gluttony sobbed and put another pizza in his mouth.

“This is not sustainable! Just last week you consumed half the forests of the Amazon. There will be nothing left in a few months!” Pride said gulped hard, “Please stop!”

“I am trying! Really I am!” Gluttony sobbed some more and eat a few tacos.

“Do not listen to them brother! They are just scared of your majesty!” Greed said as she slid closer to what she assumed was his hand, “You are the greatest, the most majestic, most perfect sin that I have ever laid my eyes on! How could I have never seen this before! You are my salvation brother, please do me the honor of consuming me!” She moved closer to his ever moving mouth.

“Is that what you want sister?” Gluttony said unsure!

“Yes, yes that is all I wish for!” Greed said slobbering all over herself.

“OK, if that is what you want!” Gluttony picked her up and popped her into his mouth.

“That was our sister, you idiot!” Wrath shouted at him and hit him hard with his mallet, the mallet bounced out of his fat and hit wrath back on his head.

“I am sorry, but she wanted me too!” Gluttony sobbed and eat a whole turkey. “I am sorry I am such a disappointment.

Lust helped Wrath up, they stood there watching their brother consume more and more.

“So this is how it all ends, because of an end-of-season sale!” Pride sighed.

“All of the possible apocalyptic scenarios, who would have thought it would end like this!” Lust looked longingly at Gluttony and bit her lip.

“Stop, you fool! It’s the end of the world!” Wrath shouted at his brother.

“What?” Gluttony looked away from his screen, “That’s great! We can have an end-of-the-world sale! Yay!”

[Imagecredit: http://whistleblowernewswire.com/wpcontent/uploads/2013/10/image0165.jpg]

 

 

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