So, the first stone hit, not me though, but the zircon ruby I had nicked off Nisha’s bathroom window. Quite an achievement, I tell you, since I had to brave my way through thick steamed smog, with zero visibility and an over powering scent of jasmine. But the red, blood red twinkle that reflected against my eyes was completely covetable. It made that arduous journey quite an adventure.
Being in possession of that ruby, which I decided to call Rubina, brought my ex girl Peri gliding like a swan towards me. Days of snogging, snuggling and basically Peri rubbing herself all over me, still did not convince me to give away Rubina.
And that is why, before the second stone hit me, I realized that I had been a celibate for six months now. Although I still say, Rubina was completely worth the celibacy.
The second stone, scraped deep through my right thigh, before lodging into Mr. Knuckles. No…no…no not Mr. Knuckles!
I had to fight Dodo continuously for three hours before I could deeply injure him and acquire Mr. Knuckles. The fight eventually resulted in Dodo’s death, being squished by a tire.
Hell, I didn’t care. Mr. Knuckles was the most beautiful stone I had ever set my eyes on. Amber and smooth in texture, I could look into Mr. Knuckles for hours at a stretch and forget about anything else, except for the mystical adventures Mr. Knuckles promised.
I screeched as Mr. Knuckles fell off the branch, and shattered onto the pebbled road below. My screech was cut short just as a pebble lodged into my mouth, and I had to sputter for at least a minute to spit it out.
Before I could get my breath back, I saw Peri aim a stone right at my left eye, and well what can I say about a woman scorned, hell hath no fury and results in a shattered, bleeding and an unbearably painful empty eye socket. I screeched louder and implored to my fellow mates, my bros, who allowed the hoes to stone me some more.
Dodo’s son, the little fella, I pimped for a goldish earring. Stepped forward and pecked me with his sharp beak. I scraped my right wing, he pecked again, and again, and again until I was pushed to the edge of the branch and on the verge of toppling over. Just then I saw Rubina, my ruby baby, hurtling towards me, her purpose, to finally push me down the branch I was precariously tethering on.
I knew, that with a torn wing, I was sure to fall crashing down onto the ground and join Mr. Knuckles. But my heart belonged elsewhere. It belonged in my nest, my nest where there was Sheeba, the goldish earring, Mambo, the shining turquoise cufflink, Chanda, the button that reflected the light of full moon some nights. And finally, Bubba, the only treasure I had not nicked or pimped for. The only treasure that was given to me of the freewill of a three years old boy. A shining, diamond studded cross, that he bestowed on me, in exchange for petting me.
Now I knew it was wrong, and I knew this day would come. Don’t get me wrong, it was not the stealing that got me here, it was the petting. Touched by a human, that had sealed my dying fate on a shining stone. But oh, the diamonds, glinting like the sun, calling me forward, pulling me towards their magnificence. What I wouldn’t do for them? What I wouldn’t give to possess that shine?
Rubina came hurtling towards me, bloody and sharp, hitting me hard with all her strength, toppling me over the branch.
I fell, fell through the tall tree and its branches. My comrades flew after me screeching, with my death on their mind. As I hit the hard ground, I could feel the frail bones snap on my back against the harsh rough granite. And the first beak rushed towards me to peck me deep in my stomach, blood sprouted and splashed against the faces of my friends as they desecrated my insides.
At least, I thought, it was good to see all my friends and family at one place. Even though the only times they would ever gather, would be to perpetrate the death of a traitor. Someone like me.
So now you know, my friends, there is a reason why a large group of crows that gathers at one place, is called A Murder.